“Never wrestle with a pig – you’ll both get dirty, and the pig will love it”
– English Proverb
I value diversity.
I value diversity of all kinds. And I value diversity of thought above all other forms of diversity. I can’t learn anything from someone who is exactly like me. Not one thing. Ideas improve when they are attacked from different tangents. Fill a room full of people who think EXACTLY the same as you and you may as well be in the room alone.
And so, I love having conversations with people who share widely different views from my own. But only if they also share a few other values I hold dear, like mutual respect.
Diversity of thought doesn’t require diversity of values.
It’s possible to find people who share all of my values, but don’t think like I do. When I find those people, the dialogues are vibrant and we both learn from each other and gain new perspectives on the world. We don’t have to walk away in agreement, but we both walk away better. That can only happen in an atmosphere of shared values. These people often become my dearest friends.
This is not the case when values aren’t shared. Trying to have a meaningful exchange around a difference of opinion with someone who doesn’t share your values is often like wrestling with a pig. There’s a lot of action, sometimes mudslinging. Even if you’re not the one slinging the mud, nobody comes out clean. And only one of you is really enjoying the experience.
But what I’m finding is that I don’t have to wrestle with pigs to feel dirty. Just having them in my Twitter stream, or showing up on my Facebook wall can have the same effect. Allowing them into my circle has placed a higher value on diversity than mutual respect, or teamwork, or high quality relationships.
Our values are our true brand. To protect that brand we may need to be careful who we call “friends,” regardless of how loosely that is defined. Even online.
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photo credit: puuikibeach on flickr
AMEN!
When the first name is called, all respect is lost. I love to banter with people, especially politically, because it give you insight to things you may over look by feeling a particular way, but when I’m called names for what I believe, or it hurts another person in a very real way…. it’s no longer insightful, it’s hurtful.
Personal attacks are not beneficial to anyone… and I wholeheartedly agree that removing these people is necessary because keeping them close to your circle of friends especially when it comes to social media can also make you look bad, but it can leave your friends (and clients) open to the same kind of unwarranted attacks. I learned that lesson myself already once this year… and it called for a very deliberate “friend culling”.
Values. Yes, it’s easy to have a difference of opinion as long as we still share the same values!
Well said; as always.
It’s so easy to get sucked into the mud-slinging fray. Nothing good or constructive comes from it. You might as well just have a conversation with a rock. Life is much too short. I want to engage and connect with people who will challenge and inspire me to my fullest potential, and enrich my life.
I agree Jeff. Some people just get off on steering the pot and no matter what love to hit below the belt. No need for it and best to stay away from it because like Rich says it adds nothing to your life. Always so disappointing when you see it happen and especially when you know the people.
Love the hidden links 🙂 Glad I “don’t think like” you “do.” Well…actually I do 🙂
Nobody takes down a pig like Princess Leia! Oh, and I agree.
Ball tearer post Cuzzy!
And Yes, I’m absolutely honoured and richer for the wonderful friendship and the amazing shared learning.
I think the only thing you may be learning from me however is….’speaking a new language’.
Cheers!
🙂
Exactly. See, I would never use the expression, “ball tearer post, Cuzzy.” 🙂
You asked for different views… the biggest problem I have with this post is that image doesn’t match the message. I would certainly choose to be the pig if slave Leia were the opponent. Otherwise, well said 😉
Your unique perspective is much appreciated. 🙂